Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
