She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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