Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
