This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
