The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
you never un-have a 4some
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
