do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
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She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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