Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
