Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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