yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize