a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I see more hoeing in ur future
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