Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
