he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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