either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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