Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize