So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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