i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
