btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
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I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
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Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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