Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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