He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
