**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
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Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
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You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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