I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
