I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
