I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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