Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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