people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
