You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
