He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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