she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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