I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
