you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
