Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
