yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
