We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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