He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
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No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
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Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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