I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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