i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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