Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
