apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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