ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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