I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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