Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
