So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
