So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
