Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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