Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
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i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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