Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
