check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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