i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
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The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize