I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
