I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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