dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
