I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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