Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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