i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
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This beer is not sobering me up at all
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
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You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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