The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
false alarm. still invincible.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
