Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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