You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
