i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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