Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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