just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
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He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
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I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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