Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
