I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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