I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
try to milk me bitch
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