GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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